Have you ever been asked for your opinion when the decision had already been made?
It can feel frustrating to speak up when nothing changes—or when nobody explains what happened with your idea. Young people notice this, too.
Children and teens have thoughts about the places where they spend their time. They know which parts of the school day feel difficult, which activities help them feel comfortable, and what it’s like to be included—or left out.
When we listen to their perspectives and give them meaningful opportunities to participate in decisions, we help them practice speaking up, solving problems, and contributing to their families and communities.
Giving young people a voice doesn’t mean adults stop setting boundaries. It means we make room for their ideas within those boundaries and treat their experiences as worth listening to.
Start with the decisions already happening
Youth voice doesn’t have to begin with a formal meeting or a leadership role. There are decisions being made every day where a young person’s perspective can help.
At home, they might help decide:
What the family does together over the weekend.
How to organize a shared space.
Which responsibilities they can take on.
What would make a morning or bedtime routine work better.
How to celebrate a family milestone.
At school or in a program, young people might help choose activities, suggest discussion topics, welcome new participants, or share ideas for making a space more comfortable.
The key is to offer a real choice. If something isn’t up for discussion, it’s okay to say so. Then look for the parts where their input can make a difference.
For example:
“We need to leave by 7:30 so we can get to school on time. What do you think would help our mornings go more smoothly?”
The boundary is clear, but the young person still has a chance to help solve the problem.
Ask questions you’re ready to listen to
Young people may be more willing to share when they know adults are interested in their honest answer—not just the answer adults hope to hear.
Try asking:
“What’s working well for you right now?”
“What feels harder than it needs to be?”
“What’s one thing you would change?”
“What do adults sometimes misunderstand about this?”
“What would help you feel more comfortable or included?”
Then give them time to respond. You don’t have to fill every pause. Some young people need a moment to think, and others may find it easier to share while doing something together rather than sitting face-to-face.
If their answer surprises you, stay curious:
“Tell me more about that.”
“What makes you feel that way?”
“What do you think could help?”
Even if you see the situation differently, listening first can help you understand something you might otherwise miss.
Let them see what happens next
Asking for ideas is only the first step. Following up shows young people that their input was taken seriously.
If you use their suggestion, tell them:
“You mentioned that mornings felt rushed, so we’re going to try getting backpacks ready after dinner. Thank you for helping us come up with that.”
If you can’t use it, explain why:
“I understand why you want to stay out later. Tonight we need to stick with the time we agreed on, but let’s talk about what might work for a future event.”
You don’t have to say yes to every idea. You can still acknowledge the thought behind it and be honest about the decision.
Make room for different kinds of leadership
Not every young person wants to stand in front of a group—and that doesn’t mean they don’t have leadership skills.
One child might enjoy leading a conversation. Another might be great at noticing when someone feels left out. A teen might have a talent for planning, art, technology, or bringing people together.
Think about opportunities that fit the young person:
Invite them to help plan a family outing or community activity.
Ask them to welcome someone new.
Let them create a playlist, sign, or flyer.
Encourage them to teach someone a skill they enjoy.
Ask for their help solving a problem that affects the group.
Offer support, but give them room to make choices and learn. They don’t need to do everything perfectly to make a meaningful contribution.
What if their idea isn’t realistic?
This is a great opportunity to work through the idea together rather than shutting it down immediately.
Suppose a child wants a huge party, but the family budget doesn’t allow for it. You might say:
“That sounds like a fun idea. We have a smaller budget to work with. What parts of your idea matter most to you, and how could we make those happen?”
Maybe the most important part is inviting a few friends, choosing the food, or playing a favorite game. Working through the limitations together gives them a chance to practice planning and problem-solving.
A small step to try this week
Ask a young person in your life:
“What’s one thing you wish adults asked you about more often?”
Listen to their answer without rushing to respond. Then look for one real opportunity to include their perspective in a decision.
At Todos Juntos, we believe young people are important members of our communities right now. When we make space for their voices, we build places where they can participate, contribute, and belong.
